


Sollux: Be fine without meds.

by sevencoloured



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bipolar Disorder, Brainbent, Gen, Humanized, Mental Illness, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-28 15:05:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/309155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sevencoloured/pseuds/sevencoloured
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Sollux Captor, and you are fine.</p><p>Set in rainbowBarnacle and VastDerp's Brainbent universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sollux: Be fine without meds.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Brainbent](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/6077) by VastDerp and rainbowBarnacle. 



Every time you are in the hospital, they say that getting better is a process, a thing you have to learn over time. Taking your meds every day is just a part of it.

Yeah, no, fuck that bullshit. Your name is Sollux Captor, and you feel better. You feel better, so why do you need to put up with the lithium and its side effects?

You're tired of your hands shaking and hitting the wrong keys every time you try to program something. You're tired of hugging your toilet like it's some sort of lifeline whenever you've neglected to drink enough water. And you're especially tired of the blood tests every so often, the needle sticks like wasp stings.

The important thing is that you feel better. Fuck all that bullshit about it being a process, this whole getting better thing. What the hell do they know about what's going on in your brain?

So you hold the pill under your tongue the next time you're supposed to take it, and when your dads aren't looking, you spit it out into your hand, washing it down the sink a minute later.

And then you don't have to worry about your hands shaking, or vomiting, or any of the other side effects.

You remember this, vaguely, when you're in the back of the ambulance from the county hospital after the inevitable psychosis that comes when you go off the lithium. It comes to you somehow, the thought looking like the lithium itself does against a flame, through the haze of Haldol and Ativan that's running through your veins.

Fuck this bullshit. Your name is Sollux Captor, and you're going to stay on the fucking meds this time.

**Author's Note:**

> This was directly inspired by [this ask](http://brainbent.tumblr.com/post/10190843287/sollux-are-you-taking-lithium-if-so-how-do-you-feel) and a quote from Kay Redfield Jamison’s phenomenal [An Unquiet Mind](http://www.amazon.com/Unquiet-Mind-Memoir-Moods-Madness/dp/0679763309/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1325267012&sr=8-1), which is an excellent book and in my opinion, a must-read for anyone with bipolar disorder (like myself) or who is close to a person that has it. Sadly, I can’t find the exact quotation online, but it is a list of things that one should do before and during a period of being okay and wanting to go off the lithium. The one that struck me is ‘know you will go through this again’, though. It’s a struggle between side effects and efficacy in so many cases.


End file.
